Okay, so yeah. The cosmos definitely just laughed at me.

So, I didn't feel like being social and talking about all the things I'm not doing and... yeah. I dunno... I didn't feel in the mood to go to the LLC Winter Staff Party thing... So, I didn't. I said mmmmfuckit! and did other things.

Then, this evening, I go to Julio's (late, even! Like 10pm!) with Becky, Holly and Pearson.... and who is there? A large majority of the LLC crew that I was so carefully avoiding today! haha... Is that poetic justice, or what? hahaha It was nice though, to say Hello, etc.
THEN, funnier still - practically everyone that came into Julio's after, was someone we knew. AND we had the hot waiter - Brad - who loves us (and we LOVE him.). So, all was good (including a couple of chocolate martinis!).

And... here I am.

OH! I got Terry Goodkind's, Wizard's First Rule for Christmas and was informed that I must start reading THIS series. Seriously, though, this book is gigantic and daunting. BUT, I will persevere. I've heard good things.

And.... now, it's bed time (maybe a chapter, first?)... because, YIKES, I have to be up, dressed and ready to get in the car at 9:30-10am tomorrow morning... and yes, I know that's not really that early, but considering it's a SATURDAY morning, that's a bit daunting. BLEH.

G'night, journal-land!

Tags: books, llc, terry goodkind
You might find me at: Montpelier, VT
I'm feeling...: groggy
I'm rockin' out to:: Camera One - Josh Joplin

Well, thank god for literature. That's all I can say. Even when I think I'm going to punch people, a good book always seems to be an outlet. Ahh.

Right now, I'm reading the fourth in a series (Empire of Ivory), and thoroughly enjoying it... AND, exciting news... I just figured out that one of my top three favorite authors (Robin Hobb), is due to have her next book - the last in a trilogy - come out JANUARY 8th. WOOt!... that means, it's just in time for me to run to B&N, buy it, and take it on the plane with me to The Rock Boat. Yeehaw, bitches.

Anyway. Must go. Want to finish another chapter before descending into the seventh layer of Hell tomorrow.

PLEASE PLEASE let the other job call me for an interview... PLEASE?

Tags: books, robin hobb
You might find me at: Home...
I'm feeling...: okay

It's funny... of late, I can't seem to bring myself to update...why? Because as soon as I start typing, I end up spewing out the trials of late... and in true Aja-form, if I don't acknowledge them, SURELY they aren't real. Sadly, they are. But. Alas.

The Job is... going. Waiting desperately on pins and needles for this other (GREAT) place to call me back for an interview. After being at the State a couple of weeks, I can see this is certainly not for me. I can muddle through... but this is not *the* job for the long haul. NOT. AT. ALL. I am not a techie. I am not the computer geek my dad would like me to be. I am NOT in any way, entertained by being chained to an Access Database all day. Noooo siree. Sadly, it is all within my capability, which is why, apparently, I must've gotten this job in the first place... but, while it is within my capability, it is not within my "tolerability" level, shall we say?
I am a people person, and need to find a way to exploit THAT, not my lackluster ability to be mildly logical-sequential.

Anyway. I will not say any more about the Job I'm hoping to hear from, other than it would be *perfect*. Seriously. I have NONE of the reservations about that job that I had about taking this one. AND, it plays to all my strengths. We shall cross our fingers now, yes?

Hmm... I'm reading a stellar new book - the fourth in the Temeraire Series (SERIES! What happened to trilogy! GEESH!)... Picture the Napoleonic Historical Era, with the assumption that dragons are an integral military force. VERY interesting. Lovin' it. Lovin' it, even though the 5th book won't be out until next summer, apparently. WRITE FASTER.

Sooo... That is all. Tomorrow is Thursday. I have my first 'meeting' tomorrow about god only knows what.

Also... let's see. There is nothing to report. Back to my book, I think... Sleep is far off, tonight, it seems...

Tags: books, doe, temeraire
You might find me at: Home...
I'm feeling...: awake

*sigh*

Alright, dear LJ. So. The last few weeks have been.... hectic? (to say the least, perhaps?)... I have missed my usual frequency of updates. WEIRD. Anyway... time to get things back on track.

First, came across THIS today... It's a 5 minute thing... watch it, and tell me what your reaction was. Mine consisted of, "hmm... really!? Interesting..." (to begin with, anyway).

So... what else? I dunno... the shift in daylight and whatnot has really screwed with my (already screwed up) internal clock. I'm tired at weird points, REALLY awake at weird points.... and this is all observed in the absence of my usual caffeine consumption(*gasp* I know.).  Although, I have found that the days that I get to the gym, are days when my sleep patterns are *more* normal. Perhaps it is all the happy endorphins from the exercise running around my brain... Now, all I need after that is a raging rock concert, a piece of chocolate cake, and sex.  CAN you even IMAGINE the endorphin overload? I bet I would sleep good that evening. hahaha...

Oo, note to self: Carbon Leaf concert @ Higher Ground on the 30th... Must procure tickets! (anyone wanna go?)

Well, tomorrow shall be interesting... long day at work... Day 2 with Student-that-resembles-girl/demon-in-The Exorcist.  Seriously, one minute you're sunshine and buttercups, the next minute the pink princess is telling you to go fuck yourself and throwing CD's at your head. and she's TEN.  Ahh.... but I do love this job. hahaha... It's funny, I really DO love this job... it's just the administration and the way they run things that makes me want to poke my own eye out. I love the kids, I love what I do, and how it makes me feel (most days)... but I'll be damned if every issue I have with the job isn't directly related to the incompetency of the people getting paid more than me. BLEH.

Seriously, I'm taking over the world. It will be better for you all. ahahah

Anyway, after day from hell (she expressed how..... unimpressed.... she was going to be to be with me again, tomorrow), hopefully I will make it out alive - just in time to go to staff meeting until 515-ish. WHICH consists of sitting for roughly 2 hours listening to above-mentioned incompetent-overpaid-types ramble on in a completely unorganized, incohearant, pointless manner. Which is THEN going to be followed by an hour-long, hippy-crunchy type "energy understanding" sort of class, run by the school's director (brownie points for attending - and it might be interesting)... Which, thankfully, will then be followed by Trish's quitting & moving party - at $2 Margarita night at Julios! Wee!

That is going to be a hella long day. But... Wednesday, nonetheless.... ALMOST done with the week. Definitely looking forward to the weekend, though... Rumor has it that the horde wants to make an excursion to Electra to shake the booty, and Trish wants me to go with her to get her next tattoo started. Ooo... tattoo shop. That is not safe for me - especially on Paycheck Friday. Although, I must look into my next art project.

SO... there we go, LJ. The current status of my life in a nutshell. Emotionally - I'm in chaos, as usual. Intellectually - I'm getting my shit together. Physically - I'm running around like crazy.

Buuut.... it's all starting to work out. The pieces *will* fall together (damnit!). 

Now, more importantly, I have a very good book that is being ignored right now (for anyone interested, currently I'm buried in: Lord of Emperors, by Guy Gavriel Kay. It's the conclusion/sequel to Sailing to Sarantium. And, further, I am in complete love with this author. I have read almost everything of his, and have yet to be underwhelmed. Go. Read. See the light. )

Onward. Book. Sleep. Work. (in that order).

Tags: books, life in general, nsm, shift happens
You might find me at: Home...
I'm feeling...: calm
I'm rockin' out to:: Nickelback - Animals

So. Welcome to life in the fast lane....er.... Life in the 'constant scramble to get by" lane, is more like it....  LJ, I've missed you... only my brain seems too fried for entries, of late.... I've picked up a second job... that (thanks to the cosmic deities that seem to enjoy fucking with me) has turned out to be much more than I had wanted. Not more than I can handle, and certainly the pay will be welcome... but more than I wanted. I signed on to do transcription and editing for this author... instead, I find myself her new webmistress.

<geek mumbo jumbo> Not only that, but I find myself having to RE-do, or just completely do from scratch pages that she paid some 'professional' to do, because she picked some hippy crunchy out in backwoods VT that couldn't do it. AND, because stupid hippy was incompetent, she didn't know how to manipulate the style sheets on the original page, and instead just wrecked havoc like Godzilla in Tokyo on the original (nice) site. SO, not only do I have to do my own stuff, but I have to fix HER shit too. BLEH. More $$ hours for me, I guess. How do you suppose I note that one on the timesheet? "cleaning up your previous webmistress' shit work" ? AH well. </geek mumbo jumbo>

So. Yeah. In a nutshell, I am feeling a bit strung out right now... I think it will all be okay once everything settles into a routine... only I haven't quite hit 'routine' yet.... I'm still in the 'AH! what am I supposed to be doing right now!?' stage.

Isn't it awful how money drives us to torture ourselves so?!

On a happy note, the new GGKay book (Ysabel ) was FABULOUS, as I predicted. It even had a cameo appearance by two characters from one of his other sets... lovely.  Definitely a MUST read. I swear, this author can do no wrong.

... and.... I'm tired.  And tomorrow starts at 7:45, and straight out for the next 12 hours. Including a lengthy meeting for each job. Bleh.

...........And the road goes ever on.........

Tags: books, busy, geekery, ggkay, jobs, money
I'm rockin' out to:: Warning - Green Day

In a nutshell:

Still nursing that crazy plague that followed me all vacation.
I am convinced my lungs are going to explode if I cough anymore.

My current job is sinking like the Titanic, due to administrative incompetence.

I have a new side-job (webmaster-ing, editing and general assistant duties) to a Speaker/Energy Healer/Author.
The extra hours and constant mind stretch may kill me, but I need the $$.
New schedule: Work. Gym. Dinner. Work 2.0. Sleep. REPEAT.  .... ick.

I hate the thought of Valentine's Day approaching, and being alone. Again. OW. My Life.

Holly's birthday is coming up, quickly.
What to do on NO money?

Feeling. Fat...ter than usual.

Financial Desperation. (see "new side job")

TIRED. So. damn. tired.

Realization: Just when you think everything is better, is when you realize how much everything is really the same. *sigh*

Excitement: My pre-ordered (shut up you.) book, Ysabel , from Guy Gavriel Kay (LOVE!), arrived on my doorstep today.
Currently reminding myself that SLEEP is more important than "just" the first chapter of the book.

American Idol Season has begun. Yes. I am that person.
Sleep is ALSO more important than watching tonight's taped episode.

My bed is calling me.

Tags: bleh, books, ggkay, jobs, money, nsm
You might find me at: war with the cosmos
I'm feeling...: blah
I'm rockin' out to:: Hole in the head - nickleback

So, I officially did a WHOLE LOT of *nothing* this weekend... hahaha... Enjoyed it, mostly, I must say.

First off, I would like to note that WHAT cosmic force hates me so much, that it's suddenly going to cause me to have a budding chest cold (that all the tea and honey in the world doesn't seem to solve), THREE DAYS before I'm supposed to head out to The Rock Boat??? *sigh*. WTF.  It's all good... I am mentally defeating it... "I will not be sick, I will not be sick, I will not be sick".... and drinking juice. My mom is making me homemade chicken soup on Tuesday night. SO. Waha! cold. To hell with you!

Hmm. So. What else? I've determined that as a result of my new computer chair, I really AM a huge PC game geek. I think, before, my dedication was a little bit hindered by my comfort... but now.... it's no holds barred... haha... A little D2 the other night, an extensive time with The Sims..... who knows.  AND, my dad has bought this new (not really, but to us) game, that won't run on his current set up... SO - YAY ME!... it's called "Black and White 2".... anyone? Thoughts? heard of it?

Also, I would like to report that G.G.Kay  has really solidified his position as one of my top three favorite authors... I'm in the midst of The Lions of Al-Rassan, and am hopelessly entranced. Which, incidentally, seems to be the case with every book I've read of his. With the gift card I got for Christmas, I'm psyched - I've got his new book, Ysabel, on pre-order from B&N.... I'm eagerly anticipating it's arrival in early February. hahaha. Yes, Bookworm. I am alright with that.  AND, I'm not going to lie, I'm DYING for the next Robin Hobb book to come out.... it's the last in her latest trilogy, and quite frankly, she is just writing TOO SLOW.

Anyway... I'm struggling with all the 'big issues' of late... how to make too little money stretch too many places... how to get everything done... what to do with myself for the summer (camp? school?), what's the RIGHT decision..... Right now, I'm trying to figure out how to rack up 25 hours of horse-related continuing ed. so I can reinstate my riding instructor certification before June. This, oddly enough, is proving to be a horribly daunting task. Much Frustrating.

And, in order of combating said frustration, I'm going to go off and order my Sims around a bit, while waiting for my laundry.....

OOOooo.... but tomorrow, I get to catch up with my long-lost roomie.... Yay!!!

Tags: books, cha cert, game geekery, trb vii
You might find me at: home.....
I'm feeling...: awake

Alrighty. WELL. 718 pages in 5 days? Not too shabby. Not a record, but not too shabby. haha... True to form, Robin Hobb sucked me into another of her complex, convoluted trilogies... Forest Mage being the sequel to Shaman's Crossing .... and we are (desperately!) awaiting the third and final installment... which should come out... Oh.. NEXT September!? *dies*
Anyway, for the sake of glimmer, I will refrain from too much discussion until he announces that he TOO has finished (c'mon, are you not reading industriously!?!)... But, I will say that again, she has "concluded" this section of the story, but left us with a HORRIBLE cliff-hanger. Perhaps that's what keeps me reading. hahaa... What I really love about this author is her detail and complexity... Less so in this trilogy than some of her others, but still, a hugely dense book with a lot of twists and turns. Now, all that is left is to find a spot on my bookshelf for another full-sized hardcover. haha... Well, now that that is finished, I suppose I can turn back to The Once and Future King and finish that off. hahaha

In other news, I've given myself a metaphorical kick in the ass, and I'm off and cleaning. Sometimes I find that my spaces (car, room, etc.) are indicative of my emotional state... When everything is in chaos and I don't care, unorganized, etc. I often find that that is my mental state.... SO... I've embarked on a mission... laundry, cleaning, vacuuming, organizing... maybe it'll work in reverse and get my head in order. Sometimes just the tangible untangling and sorting of things helps me focus on myself. So. good times.

I am still battling these HARD-CORE leg knots. There is one big, hard, knot like... just below the major part of your calf muscle, on each leg. I spent about 20 minutes today massaging each one... and while temporarily it was better, it is still MAJORLY cramping my style. Going downstairs, down hill, or anything where you would flex your calf muscle cause massive ouchiness. I am now in search of suggestions.

Anyone know how to make one of those homemade hot-packs? You know the kind you put in the microwave?

Alright. Off on a cleaning spree....

Tags: books, cleaning, muscle cramps, robin hobb
You might find me at: my house, battling dust bunnies.
I'm feeling...: productive
I'm rockin' out to:: A certain romance - The Artic Monkeys

OKay. So. I had this insanely rambling train of thoughts that I had intended to spill out, that has since been completely - derailed - by the notice that my FAVORITE AUTHOR (at least, arguably in the top 3) has her newest book coming out TOMORROW. (or today). Yes, folks, Ms. Robin Hobb will be releasing The Forest Mage (The second in the Soldier Son Trilogy), which she has been keeping us waiting a YEAR to read. That is SO EVIL. Who rights trilogies and released them a year apart. Yikes. Meanie. My Other top 3 author, Guy Gavriel Kay, at least has the decency to right amazing STAND ALONE books. They are huge and epic, but not part of some evil drawn out trilogy. Oh my. Sorry. My book-geek is showing. Surely I am not the only one? hahaha

Anyway. Weird day. Long Day. EARLY day. First day back at work... day one of three inservice days. What that means is we sit in meetings all day, and go over information we already know, and pretend like we are paying attention. That's what I get for actually DOING my job. Perhaps if I was slacking off, and completely incompetent like SOME of my co-workers, perhaps I would need these constant 'reminder' type meetings. Alas. I am not. SO the meetings are hella boring. To make matters worse, I drank MUCH too much coffee and then tried to sit through one. *twitch twitch*.

Interestingly enough, one of my new co-workers plays in a band called Nothing About Grover , which seems to be an interesting sort of mellow, pleasent, melodic band... He plays lead guitar and sings, and happened to mention that he was playing at Higher Ground on Wednesday (Fantastic $4 Band Night! Wee!), AND that he had free tickets! (FREE $4 tickets! yes!)... So, SCORE. He seems like a nice guy. We shall adopt him into the "Fun-coworkers" circle (as opposed to "Those Incompetent Bitches"), me thinks.... and if nothing else, we will be entertained at Higher Ground. Yeee haw.

Ran around with Becky a little bit after work - errands and such. She annoys the holy living shit out of me a lot of the time, but it is truly hard to get mad at her, because you KNOW that is inherently coming from a good place - she's got a big heart and means well.... it just gets lost in translation sometimes. I am currently viewing her as a project. To be tackled a little at a time (for sanity reasons). She REALLY needs to work on her listening skills.

After that, a trip to my mom's... who is nursing some weird sort of feverish-plague... yuuuck. Ate dinner and ran. Must. Not. Catch. Sickness!!!

Much too much time to think today, though... I found myself hunting down Holly (who was off walking on the bike path) to help me sort my thoughts, and advise...... My poor brain. It is overwhelmed by my emotional system, which is, in turn, overwhelmed by my brain. What to do. How to make your heart see what your brain knows? Perhaps the eternal wonder.

On the horizon I think, is what the Martian, Valentine Michael (of Stranger in a Strange Land ), would term a "cusp"... a moment in time where a choice must be made... a choice that may or not be influenced by the "Old Ones," instinct values or whatever advisor you learn from... but when you actually stand on the cusp, a choice to be made by you and you alone... I worry that I will make the wrong choice...... Maybe again, I will turn to literature for the answer:
There are no wrong turnings, only paths we had not known we were meant to walk..."

Augh. Frustration. Which I guess is really not 'frustration' but anger and sadness balled together.

Oh my. *sigh*. Poor readers... you all must just LOVE the ramblings of the Emotional-type.

But I am tired of it. I am tired of Emoting. Tired of Feeling, Tired of just being Numb and unwilling to do this again.

And so.....

She Sleeps.

Tags: books, emotions, hg, nsm, upset
You might find me at: my house, cloaked in sleep...
I'm feeling...: thoughtful
I'm rockin' out to:: "Remain" - Nothing About Grover

OKay. NOPE. Did not like that whole 'hello 7am!' thing again.... I was much happier being on complete vacation, staying up to late, and getting up too late - and getting paid for it. hahaha... this whole "work" thing has got me really thrown for a loop. hahaha LUCKILY, it was an uneventful day.

Random annoyance of the day: I need contacts/glasses. Badly. Insurance has kicked in for them, and allergies (and itchy eyes) tell me I needed them YESTERDAY. So. The quest for an eye doctor "in the network" begins. OKay. After a little bit of a hassel, the closest one that they cover everything with is Lens Crafters, in Burlington. OKay. Well, have you ever tried to get an eye appointment after 330pm in the afternoon... oh, I dunno, anytime in this DECADE? yeah. apparantly it's just not possible. I whined enough that I *may* have one on Friday. they have to call me back. (WTF?)

But, new sad obession for the summer: Rockstar:Supernova (Tues. & Wed. night on CBS.. haha)... which is basically some older rock gods (from Motley Crue, Guns N Roses, etc.), that are looking to gel into a new band, and they're on the quest for a lead singer (like INXS did with JD Fortune, last season... not that I watched.... haha)... AND, it looks promising... I have three early leaders in mind... 2 of which are hot boys with amazing voices, and one girl who looks like she *might* be able to cut it. I find that women, as a majority, just don't pull off believable alt-rock.

Subsequently, apparantly Wednesday night is like Talent Night on all the networks. Airing either at the same time, or just after Rockstar, on several stations were like 'So you think you can dance?', 'America's got Talent', and some other random shit I can't articulate. Weirdness. At least the music on Rockstar is good. Nirvana to the Black Crowes, to The Who, to The Killers. Good stuff.

.... and..... yeah. *nobody* called me back today. *nobody*. I left like a TRILLION messages for various people with various questions and HELLO. Calls back? Nope. I *HATE* that.

So hmm. I should be sleeping... another day of work tomorrow. I slept SO badly last night (like waking constantly, couldn't sleep, etc.), I anticipate much the same tonight. GREAAAT. Freakin' Insomnia. I blame the Maternal genes for that one.

Hmm. Alright. I suppose enough rambling, when I'm saying nothing... Must run off and catch a few more chapters of Naomi Novik's Throne of Jade the sequel to her debut novel I finished a couple of weeks ago.... Lovin' it so far. A well crafted dragon-concept with accollades by Anne McCaffrey, etc. Gooood times. (OH, and for any fans out there, new is out about Guy Gavriel Kay's next book - Ysabel which looks VERY GOOD. )

Yeah. off to sleep with me.

Tags: books, rockstar
You might find me at: home. Just home.
I'm feeling...: bored
I'm rockin' out to:: Nirvana - Lithium