"Waiting is painful. Forgetting is painful. But not knowing which to do is the worse kind of suffering.” ~Paulo Coelho

Alright. Enough about that.

Life has been... fine. (F.I.N.E.=Feelings I'm Not Expressing). The world is still spinning on its axis, the sun is still rising, and by golly, my inbox is still filling up with spam. So... I guess I should take that all as a good sign.

Internally, I am, as ever, the title of the LJ - "Chaos in a Box..." ... and that's definitely what I feel like lately. So many things going on... so many variables, SO. MUCH. STRESS. And, as I'm sure you call can relate, no matter how many times you tell yourself that it's 'out of your hands' and there is 'nothing more you can do' to affect the situation... STILL you find yourself stressing and mulling. I swear, this summer reminds me of my junior year in college - spent grinding my teeth, sleeping badly, dreaming profusely and getting caught up in the worries...

I guess all the time I have been spending on my own has been a double-edged blade.... while it has allowed for TOO much thinking, maybe some of the thinking and soul-searching has been beneficial.

So. Yeah. I dunno. I started this with so much to say and I find myself wordless after a couple of paragraphs... gone off in my head about other things, I suppose. Ah well.

I am sooo looking forward to this weekend.... Spending Thurs-Sunday in Maine with Holly... at a resort. For FREE. Yes folks,FREE. A friend of Holly's mom is getting married on Saturday, and wants Babysitters for the reception. We're getting paid for that. She's also getting as a room for Friday and Saturday night at the posh beach-side resort that they're having the wedding at. AND she's throwing in $100 of "traveling expenses" for us to drive there, etc... SWEET. Holly and I decided we'd go up Thursday and spend the day at the beach (and wing it for a place to stay.. hmm.), and then have the whole day friday to putz around, sleep in the resort, do a little work on Saturday, sleep inthe resort, then have sunday at the beach before we drive home. I am SO looking forward to it.... OH how I've missed the ocean.

I haven't actually put my feet in the ocean since I was at the Santa Monica Pier with fylgja. Wow. There's a memory. I still need to make a necklace of that shell.

Anyway. I think that's enough for now.... OOoo.. I have an Episode of Rockstar:Supernova taped.... I think I will watch that before sleeping....


Oh. And as a parting sidenote, I would give anything for a raging Thunderstorm tonight, or soon, so I could sit outside and be engulfed in the energy...

Tags: beach, maine, quote
You might find me at: restless pacing..
I'm feeling...: okay
I'm rockin' out to:: Love.Loss.Hope.Repeat - CL