"Never allow someone to be your priority, while allowing yourself to be their option."


That, dear readers, is my quote for the day. And then I ask you friends, what is it about oneself that constantly allows them to forgive and forget, when the pattern just keeps repeating?? I will never be first, I will *always* be your backup plan. I see that now. Ever so clearly. It is amazing what a little 25 year old cynicism will do. And now, 'age' has taught me that it *IS* you, NOT me. It's not my fault that you can find every excuse in the book to really suck at our friendship. And yes, the last few years, you SUCK at our friendship. The fact that I keep letting you make me feel bad, disappointed, sad, all those things - THAT is my fault. And THAT is going to change.

You said you bailed because she needed you, last time he needed you.

Did you ever think that MAYBE, just maybe, I needed you, too?

Tags: age, disappointment, friends, quote
You might find me at: Montpelier, VT
I'm feeling...: disappointed
I'm rockin' out to:: "The One" - Foo Fighters

Argh.

I come back from a lovely (mostly) vacation on The Rock Boat........ into a shit storm and a half.

Ever hear that quote - "When the shit hits the fan, it never distributes evenly." (or something along those lines...)
... well, suddenly, I relate.

I know I'm only 24, and that it's a long road a head of me, where anything can happen, and I'm still young, yadda yadda.... but, at the same time, it feels like I've tried to do everything right, work hard... and STILL, at 24.... I'm stuck. ... and beyond stuck, I'm *struggling* with every ounce of willpower I have just to keep my head above water - nevermind enjoying the swim.  And I'm tired. I'm tired of scraping by.  I'm tired of borrowing money, of trying to think of creative ways to make it all work out... I WANT to have a balance in my savings account.

Argh.

What is the answer? New job? Another job?More school (more debt?)? ..... SO many decisions coming, in rapid succession.... and yet, I feel so ill-equipped to deal with them all......

I need a hug.

Tags: age, frustration, money
You might find me at: limbo
I'm feeling...: uncomfortable
I'm rockin' out to:: Any Given Day - CL

Well. Not too much to say about this weekend, actually... My cousin turned up on Friday night with his new toy - a Honda Shadow motorcycle. Very, very pretty, I will say. How he affords these things (not sure he does, really), I'll never know.

Yesterday was amusing... after making a yummy dinner for my Mom and Allan, and getting allan hooked on Chicken Invaders 2 - seriously the most addictive, relatively brainless game out there... It's right up there with Snood, only I think this one is worse. hahah... So far, I've managed level 81/110. YIKES. And that was with GREAT struggle. ahahah Maybe it's not so mindless. But, Allan and I have a friendly competition going now.... MUAHAHAHA...

Hit up Dom's Apartment for festivities, last night... intending only to stay a LITTLE while, I ended up rolling out of there at 4:45am this morning. NICE. That puts me in my own bed just after five... You know it was a party when you almost see the sun come up... hahaha... Interesting, but entertaining mix of people.... Still formulating thoughts on all of them, but... Good times were had by all... I woke up this morning RAGINGLY thirsty, and craving a potato like nobodies business, but other than that, no worse for wear! Yay Liver!

Next Weekend (a general announcement): Hittin' up the Club. Electra in West Leb. I do believe. Any takers? (It's PAYCHECK week!!! wee!)

And so.... that's just about it.... nothing too exciting to report.... Oh, perhaps a poll for you all, spurned by a discussion that Holly and I were having...

Poll #823488 Age Differences?
Open to: All, results viewable to: All

Is the age game between a 19 year old and a 24 year old too much, in terms of dating?

(or if that's just not enough options - comment away, people.

ANYWAY.... Oh, wait, this just in... Allan just called me to let me know he got to level 71 on Chicken Invaders... MUAHAHAHA>..... I'm still just ahead of him! hahahahaha

So. Yeah. Off to laundry and a book I go, me thinks...

Tags: age, chicken invaders, party
You might find me at: Home!
I'm feeling...: happy
I'm rockin' out to:: Crazy Bitch - Buckcherry