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It's Sunday... and here I am. Hanging out at my mom's - I like being here during the week when my dad is working... Being home alone all day is not good for my mental health, I've decided. PLUS, with 2-3 dogs around (depending if we're petsitting or not), you can't help but laugh. I've decided that's what pets were put here for... they're so expressive, and love you no matter what. How can you help but be happier, when they're around? We watched "Martian Child" (with John Cusack) tonight... I really liked it (Tim, I think you'd enjoy it, too!)... A really interesting commentary about Human Nature, while providing a really deep/complex story. Loved it. (plus, if you've ever worked with 'unique' kids, it definitely will hit a soft spot.) ... and now... I find myself watching "Diners, Drive-In's and Dives" on Food Network, because there's nothing else on. I'm pondering reading... but... eh. We shall see. Since tomorrow's Monday, I'm hoping (beyond all hopes) that maybe - just MAYBE - 4H will call me and give me a job tomorrow. I've suffered through this whole week, without hearing anything from them... I'm hoping that'll change. Imminently. Really, as much as it would suck, I'd even rather hear a Rejection, soon, than nothing. I need to know just how desperate my situation is. I feel very alone, lately. I feel like the situation I find my life in (broke, unemployed, etc.), be it self imposed or whatever, has left me very isolated. Often it is because I don't have money to go out and do things (I will never underestimate the value of $3.50 for a latte, ever again). I understand this. I also (intellectually) understand when people decide to do things with other people that CAN afford to do things. I get it. It still sucks royally though. To the credit of a few of my friends, they certainly have offered to pay... but it doesn't seem right to be a constant moocher, when I have no hope of ever repaying them. Often though, that feels like a pity vote... Like, they call to see if I want to go to a movie - I say no, because I have no cash... and out of my sheer patheticness, they offer to pay. But some friends seem to just be avoiding it. I didn't realize how much some of my friendships relied on going out and doing things. Since I am unable go out, there are people I haven't seen in quite a while. I always thought fun could be had, just doing nothing... but....? perhaps not? Thank god for Holly, though... She has put up with more of my cynical ranting and raving, played more hands of cards than one person every should. I wish I could spread out some of my obnoxiousness through other friends... but, as I said, it seems as though my friend-circle has nearly vanished. I feel conflicted, though. I am sad that I have not seen a lot of people in a while - I miss them. I miss just chatting with different people. On the other hand, I feel angry? disappointed? that in a time when I needed my friends around me so badly, so many of them have chosen to fade away. It has given me an entirely new outlook on different friendships and relationships. Maybe it's just me and my emotional sentimentality, but despite all that, I still miss them. Who knows. Just another stage in life, I suppose. Alright. Enough of all this... I guess I'm off to read. Alternate universes and preferable lately... Tags: 4-h, friends, job, unemployment
You might find me at: East Barre, VT
I'm feeling...:  contemplative
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First off, I would like to note that it is DAMN cold. Second, I would also like to note that 4-H is taking their sweet time getting back to me about the job. I am supposed to hear any day now, really... They said 'early' this week... what that means, I have no idea, exactly... but SURELY that means SOON??? I am waiting for news, highly impatiently. In other news - my dear roomie is getting married! and Holly and I got to meet her fiance - he's super nice. We highly approve of this pairing. AND, I get to be IN the wedding!! Very exciting! And it's in the summer, thank god, because that means I'll have a chance to get a little less pastey-pale before I have to have pictures of me taken. Yikes. Hmm... what else? it's cold. My Mom, Allan and I have to shovel, either today or tomorrow... they need to get an oil fill... and the oil fill is on the side of the house. What's the problem with that, you ask? Well. With all the snow we've had that means we have to carve a path for the oil guy THROUGH the like 6ft. snowbank on the side of the road, through the 3 foot deep snow everywhere else, to the oil tank. It is a herculean task, to say the least. BLEH. You know what else is a herculean task? Finding potential living situations that like dogs. Seriously, people... for the number of people that have dogs, how do they ever find places to rent?! I've been scouting apartments and such, because if I get that 4-H job, I'll need to move quickly... And, taking my dog is not a requirement (he can stay here with my mom and our other dog), but it would be nice.... assuage the loneliness of living out in the boondocks. But... I'm not sure that's going to happen, because finding an apartment willing to let you have a dog - much less a 70 pound pit bull - is like finding HALF a needle in a haystack. Argh. I will persevere, though. I have a lead on a cute little place, though... It's exactly 30 minutes from Justa's work, and 30 minutes from my potential work (which means she'd be willing to move with me!), and it's a small house, 2/br... and he'd be willing to let our dogs come, providing he got to meet them first. Justa and I have an appointment to go check it out on Saturday morning... By then, I should CERTAINLY know if I've gotten the job or not. *crosses fingers* Oh, randomly - I've put a TON of pictures in my LJ scrapbook, as a means of backing them up (my comp has been doing strange things, of late), so, if anyone wants to check them out, they're mostly from 2000-current. Lots of friend pics, from parties, etc. It's locked to people on my friends -list, so no worries that your face is floating around cyberspace. Hm.... I suppose that's all. Must go shovel some more, I suppose.... Tags: 4-h, apts, dog, pics
You might find me at: East Barre, Vt
I'm feeling...:  cold
I'm rockin' out to:: Ahh... peace and quiet....
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So. There has been nothing of particular eventfulness to report.... It's probably toward the end of the Super Bowl, right now... but who cares. :-P Not really my thing. AND, I was interested in watching the 'special' episode of House that was suposed to come on Fox AFTER the superbowl... but I'm over here at my moms - with like 50 bazillion satalite channels.... but, guess what... Oh yeah, we don't get that one, as far as I can tell. GRR. (I think I can watch it online later, though.) In other news, Holly and I were sorta planning a low-key birthday thing for Justa tomorrow... She always gets forgotten or passed over in a way, because Holly's birthday is a few days before hers, and Holly is more ensconced in the main group of friends than Justa... so, inevitably, Holly gets a party, then Justa doesn't. That sucks. SO, this year, Holly and I decide we're going to do something nice. So, we plan something, I call Justa and tell her she's gotta be here at a certain time... ONLY to learn that she kinda made plans like an hour or two before. She's going to try and change them (because she'd rather hang with us, than some friends of the family...)... but still. Ah well. My dad and I had another go-round today... Our personalities are just inherently conflicting. Argh. We start talking about the potential that I'm going to get this job (and hour and a half away, in Middlebury), because it seems like a good possibility. And somehow, that optimistic, positive discussion digresses to him lecturing me on how I don't know how expensive things are, I'm not prepared to make decisions, I'm not going to know what to negotiate for a salary, because I have no idea what to expect for expenses... I'm unreliable and can't be expected to pay bills on time... etc. etc. etc. the list goes on. Basically, reminding me what a complete failure and waste of space I am - or at least that how it often seems to me. Seriously, since I dropped out of college and diverged from the expected 'plan', I've never done well enough, in his eyes. Which is awesome. Feels great. I find a job that's awesome for me, pays well, etc. It's perfect. But, we can't just think about how that might be a positive experience... we must instead take me down a few pegs to ensure I'm grounded firmly in the reality that I probably won't be able to make it on my own. Awesome. LOVE IT. So.... anyway. I'm over here at my moms, after picking up supplies for Justa's maybe-party thing tomorrow... just hanging. Blargh. Tags: 4-h, dad, job
You might find me at: East Barre, VT
I'm feeling...:  cynical
I'm rockin' out to:: 'sex in the bible' - History channel!
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Okay so.... Tomorrow's the big day. Face-to-Face interview. I'm feeling pretty confident about it, as I honestly think that I'm a perfect fit for the job.... and I know several people on the hiring committee (that like me.). Plus, I really WANT this job, and that's got to count for something. The only part I am a bit concerned about is tomorrow's drive. Supposedly (just because I have to drive a little over an hour and a half), it is supposed to be generally unpleasant weather tomorrow - sleet, freezing rain, the whole nine yards... starting just about the time my interview is... so, they certainly won't cancel it, but the drive home is going to SUCK. Thankfully, Justa has agreed to go with me, so I don't have to drive alone (and maybe we can take her car, with snow tires?). Ah well. Nothing like a little winter weather in VT. In other news, there really isn't any... I made a pretty yummy lemon cake for Holly's birthday today... it tasted awesome, even if it met with a few.... mishaps?... that caused it to be slightly less that perfectly pretty. AH well. So. Yeah. Okay. Nothing left to say, I should go to bed (and fight off the weird cruise-plague that everyone seems to have come home with!). Cross you fingers for my interview tomorrow! (1:45-2:45pm) Tags: 4-h, job interviews
You might find me at: Montpelier, VT
I'm feeling...:  sick
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Well. What is there to say, really, except: Best.Vacation.Ever. So fun. I mean, really, how can you go wrong with 30+/- bands wandering around a cruise ship, music playing nearly 24/7, having lunch with your favorite band in the upscale cafeteria, constant umbrella drinks on the deck in the tropical sun... the list goes on. Highlights this year include: - Oakhurst: the random bluegrass-ish quartet that thought they'd promote themselves by stuffing themselves in an elevator and riding up and down for a couple of hours, playing. Seriously, what do you do when you're waiting for an elevator and a playing band shows up? You get in and rock on for a few floors! - The coolest room steward ever that made AWESOME towel creatures. - Getting to actually sing into Ken Block's microphone during the "Guns 'N Hazel" show... (it was Sister Hazel, posing as Guns 'n Roses. TOO funny. Pictures once Justa gives me her memory card). Nothing like having a microphone put in your face during Paradise City. Toooo cool. But seriously, we were SO close, and the stage was so small that there were times that Ken, the lead singer, was literally leaning over my shoulder to sing. Very awesome. - Delayed debarkation (2 hours), due to having to load another 100 pallets of beer. - Missing the port stop at the Grand Caymans due to some big waves... but not caring, because we got to sit on the Lido deck, take in the sun and listen to "Boys Gone Wild" a rockin' band made up of the Lead singer of Vertical Horizon, some of Stroke 9, and a few others. - Standing in a crowded bathroom line with Brett Dennen, who looks NOTHING like what he sounds like, but is one cool, funny, motherfucker. - Josh Kelly during the bathrobe party, who doesn't feel that wearing much under your bathrobe is necessary, despite the high winds. hahaha ...... and there were more, but geesh. It was all one big highlight, really. Very cool. AND, despite the fact that Justa, Holly and I were in VERY close quarters for practically a week... we didn't kill each other. hahahah So, just a few neat pictures (more to follow, once I organize a bit more): ( Some Photographic Evidence )Oh, and Word of the Trip: Starfish. ---------------------------------------- - Oh and on a side note, my phone interview today went well, apparently, because I'm scheduled for an in-person interview next Friday in Middlebury! Yeeehaw!!! Tags: 4-h, pics, trb viii
You might find me at: Montpelier, VT
I'm feeling...:  calm
I'm rockin' out to:: Mandolin Moon, Live - Sister Hazel
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WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! I just set up a phone interview with that job that I've been so desperately wanting! EEE!!! It's a 20-ish minute 'informal interview' the day after I get back from my trip. Supposedly, if I make it through this round of interrogation, then I get a real interview. Although, my contact on the inside (yes, I have one!) is very positive, and I think she'd like to see me in the position... sooo... all she (and I) has to do is sway the 'committee'... Hmm.... Which means I may have to move to Middlebury, sooner than later... (like, as early as Mid-February). IN other news... despite the fact that it is FREAKIN' cold, I'm still doing lessons today (2:15 and 3:30), then hurrying up to make out the blank check she left me (that's trust, right there), then RUNNING to the bank, so I can get there before it closes. (complete with horse-smelling barn clothes!). Then home to begin the craziness of getting ready to fly tomorrow.... Tags: 4-h, pease farm, trb
You might find me at: Montpelier, VT
I'm feeling...:  chipper
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aja's journal
disappointed